How to Deal with an Exploitative Spouse? Sadhguru - VideoRolls.com
By: SadhguruPublished: 4 years ago
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Responding to a question about exploitative relationships, Sadhguru explains that meditativeness is an important quality to bring into our lives and our families, rather than trying to fix the other person. Meditativeness fundamentally means to become in such a way that we are not the source of the problem -- wherever we are, we are a solution.
Questioner: Sadhguru, Namaskaram (Pause).
Sadhguru: I didn’t say anything (Laughter).
Questioner: Sadhguru, how to conduct oneself when, you know, when you have a very exploitative spouse, you know?
Sadhguru: You’re talking about how to conduct him or yourself?
Sadhguru: No, actually you want to know how to fix him, right?
Questioner: No, Sadhguru.
Sadhguru: (Laughs) So you want him to… You want him to be conduct… continue to be an exploitative spouse, and you want to learn how to be part of that (Laughter)?
Questioner: I’m unable to understand how to deal with this situation.
Sadhguru: No, this is what – first you must understand – do you want to deal with him or yourself?
Questioner: Myself, Sadhguru.
Sadhguru: No (Laughter). Let’s be straight, come on. We want to fix him, don’t we (Laughter / Applause)? Enna maa? Hmm? (Speaks in Tamil – not transcribed) (Laughs)?
So this is very important. I’m particularly talking to you. Please sit down. It’s very important that we are straight with life, do you understand? What you want is your husband fixed, but because you’re sitting in front of me you’re saying, “Sadhguru, how do I fix myself to fit into this exploitation?” (Laughter) – which is not the truth (Laughs). You want to know how to fix the man. Yes or no? Please tell me, all the ladies (Laughter). If you perceive him – we don’t know what he is – we’re not talking about your husband. I do not know what he is, but if you perceive him as exploitative, obviously you want to fix him, isn’t it? If you perceive yourself as a problematic wife, then maybe some thought about, “Maybe I want to fix myself,” will come up. When you perceive somebody as exploitative, the intention is to fix them, isn’t it? But we wouldn’t want to be straight about that because the culture doesn’t tell you… the culture tells you “Fixing your husband is not a good thing – you must fix yourself (Laughs).”
So if you get a headache, go for a foot surgery – then the foot will be aching more than the head (Laughter) – kind of fixed (Laughter). At least your attention is gone. So it’s time… If we are concerned about life it’s time that we are one hundred percent straight, at least with ourselves. Maybe in the world, we don’t know what profession you have, what situations you have, we don’t know how straight you can be – I will not interfere with that, but at least (Laughs) with yourself you must be hundred percent straight – very important. Otherwise, neither yourself nor your life situations will ever get fixed, simply complaining and going on. Life will be a lifelong complaint for a whole lot of people because they don’t want to address it, they want to beat around it.
So, husband-fixing program we must do (Laughter). No, we have fixed a whole lot of them, because they become meditative and suddenly their exploitative nature went away because now they’re busy with something else. So I… I don’t want to get into a personal situation right now here, but you must bring meditativeness into you and into your family. This is something we have to invest into life now. If you’re not able to fix your husband, at least you must have a wish that the next generation of husbands are not exploitative. If you’re interested in that, you must make sure your little boy that you have right now, you must fix him now with some meditation. Yes. Meditation is not about fixing him against something. It is just that meditativeness means to become in such a way that you are not the source of the problem. Wherever you are, you’re a solution, you’re not a problem.
Read Full Transcript: http://isha.sadhguru.org/blog/video/how-to-deal-with-an-exploitative-spouse/
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